i have everything i need

I haven’t posted in at least a week, but I’ve thought about it every day.  I haven’t exercised in at least a week, but I’ve thought about exercising every day.  I even watched the CrossFit games on ESPN.  One time I heard that your muscles make tiny movements as you watch dancers, so imagine the benefits of watching women smaller than me push cars and houses and elephants 3 miles down the road and deadlift ponies 45 times in a row.

I haven’t done a lot of things that I need to do to keep the machine running smoothly, because I’ve been tired and in pain.  Much of this year, I’ve been experiencing odd symptoms which have yet to be fully explained by a doctor.  If I gave you the details, you might change the address in your browser or offer up another “have you thought about this?” diagnosis, and I don’t really want either of those.  What I’d really like is to share with you the encouragement that was passed on to me in the last 48 hours.

Yesterday, the hubs preached about being satisfied.  Not complacent — satisfied.  As in:

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

(I love typing that from memory.  Again, I say, get your memorize on, y’all!  It brings about unexpected blessings.)

Then this morning, I seewhile I’m waiting for my preschooler.  I look it up and find

and I think, “Yes.”

I have all that I need, even though fatigue has had me coming up short in so many areas.  When my lesson plans stink, grace is what I need.  When I’m raking piles of crumbs off the bottom of my feet every time I cross the hardwoods, I need grace even more than a broom.  When I’m hissing empty threats through my gritted teeth at a preschooler, I most desperately need grace.  And grace abounds.  I know, because I feel it.  I see it in action.

I’m too tired to make the words come together for every example, but here’s one:  Any teacher can tell you that a good lesson plan is the crux of the classroom, so walking in every day with a flimsy plan is asking for disaster.  You should also expect the superintendent to come in on those days.  I should have counted how many times in the last month I’ve heard, “Those who fail to plan plan to fail.”  There have been days when it was all I could do to get together a pitiful outline, but my classes have gone remarkably well, despite the fact that I won’t be receiving instruments or resources for a few more weeks when our funding comes in.  Somehow I still have everything I need to serve my purpose well, and I’m strangely satisfied in a non-complacent way.  (Lord, I look forward to serving this purpose in more consistent excellence and with great energy!  *Ahem.*  Amen.)

If you don’t know Jesus in a personal way, what I’m saying might sound like crazy magic. It sort of feels like that sometimes.  It probably felt like magic to his disciples during that whole (fish+loaves)÷multitudes=abundance episode, too.  How did that end anyway?

And they all ate and were satisfied.


Have you seen God’s grace in your life lately?  Please share.  I love those stories.