31 days of a new normal {day 15} effects on our marriage – part 2

This post is part of a month-long series.  You can read the rest here.

Yesterday, I was telling you about how my husband has carried a serious weight because of my new normal.  It’s not unheard of for marriages to fall apart under the strain of chronic or terminal illness.

Why am I not terrified of my marriage falling apart when life is so “unfair” to my husband and it seems like it’s because of me?

1)  I see dedication in my husband in other areas of his life, even when circumstances are tough.  He does the hard things and barely grumbles.  (If I said he never grumbles, he’d call me out.)

2) When we locked up our life courses together, we did it in covenant, which is quite different from contract.  We both strongly believe in the concept of “I’m holding my end, no matter what you do,” because we daily receive that kind of grace from God.  In other words, we’re just trying to be a picture of God’s love.  “In sickness and in health” had a whole new meaning for us when listened to my cousin repeat his vows last weekend.

3) He tells me when he gets frustrated.  Communication, y’all.  Sometimes we really suck at it, but when we get it right, it makes everything better.  Just dragging things into the light makes it not so scary.

4) I know that God cares for my husband and will take care of him, just as they are taking care of me.  Look at Jesus’ promise in Matthew 11…

 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

That’s seriously comforting.


2 thoughts on “31 days of a new normal {day 15} effects on our marriage – part 2

  1. I agree with what you are saying. I think about commitment being something flexible depending on circumstances but making a covenant is much stronger and lasts. It is the “I’m all in” kind of commitment. No matter what.

    I do think communication is so important. I also believe communicating expectations between spouses is key. You need to know what he expects and you need to tell him what you expect. Neither of you should hold back. This is in all areas of your life. If there is disagreement then it gives you that opportunity to work it out. I think unmet expectations leads to frustration and bitterness and drives wedges between souls.

    I also think that things are never equal. At this time you need him to carry more of the load. At another time he may need you to do so. We like to think that life is fair and things should always be in balance but they never are. We need to accept this and accept that at times we must accept help and other times we will be the giver.

    I wish you well in all your struggles for I know they will be both mental and physical as so many are.

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